Sometimes Words Do Mean What They Mean

Words Don't Mean What They Mean. It is not something I am saying, but rather it is the title of a piece written by Steven Pinker. In the piece, Pinker talks about how what people say directly are not what they mean. He lists different techniques that people use to do so including innuendo, veiled threat, and double entendre.

But is that really what happens? Don't you just say what you want to say directly? Maybe? Well what turns out to be is that Pinker is true in saying that in our society, we say things indirectly to convey our thoughts. For example, we sometimes use whimperative to say, “Do you think that you can pass the salt?”, as Pinker suggests in his piece. Or someone saying, “Would be a real shame if something happened to it,” would also be indirect communication; this would be a veiled threat statement according to Pinker’s piece. 

That's the reality of us behaving in the society, in which we are often very formal. But when the topic comes to informal talks with our friends or family, our behavior is not the same. For example, if you wanted your brother to pass you the salt while having family dinner, would you say “It would be helpful if you could pass me the salt,” or “pass me the salt?” For me I would probably go with the latter. As far as Pinker’s whimperative statement goes, it is in a setting of a “dinner party” in which it would be best to not use an imperative statement. Similarly, a parent would directly warn their children of not doing something instead of using a veiled threat.

But where does the difference between direct and indirect communication come from? It comes from the context of the situation. Who you are talking to, what you want to talk about, and where you are talking impacts your choice to use direct or indirect speech. Pinker is right that people often use indirect speech, but the situation is different in some contexts, and sometimes words do mean what they mean.